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Ep 1101-5
Vital Information Lori Beth
That 1101 d1 orderingreplacement 0284

Vital Information was a sketch in which Lori Beth Denberg delivered what would appear to be useful information, but later actually nonsense, usually three in a row. The sketch was later hosted by Danny Tamberelli, Lil' JJ, and Reece Caddell.

Notable Vital[]

  • Oh Macarena, Macarena, Macarena. Oh Macarena, Macarena, Macarena! Oh, I hate the Macarena!
  • If your bra is too tight, it must be uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is too tight, I'm uncomfor''table!
  • If you're drinking apple juice and it feels warm...odds are, that ain't apple juice.
  • If you don't know the difference between bologna and your underwear, then I ain't eatin' a sandwich at your house!
  • If your teacher gives you an F, it's wrong to say, "Well, what do you expect, moron?! I didn't study!".
  • Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder...how in the world that song became so popular.
  • It's fun to play in the snow. It's less fun to play in a bathtub full of vomit.
  • I scream, you scream...we all scream when we slam our hand in a car door.
  • Three blind mice. See how they run...into things.
  • Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care. Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care. Jimmy got hit with a melon...and I still don't care.
  • The people on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down. The people on the bus go up and down... eventually, they throw up.
  • When you're reading a book, don't skip the even-numbered pages and then say "Man, this book is really odd!".
  • Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey no see, monkey step in doo.
  • If your first name is Wally, and your second name is Wally, and your last name is Woo, then your name is WALLY WALLY WOO!
  • If you can't beat 'em, join 'em; if you can't join 'em, bite 'em.
  • If you blow your nose like this (takes a tissue and blows her nose loudly), it's considered rude to do this (sticks the tissue to a lamp).
  • The cow says, "Moo". The duck says, "Quack". The crazy person says, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!"
  • Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. And I laughed my butt off!
  • "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers." No one cared.
  • "The early bird gets the worm." Fine! I don't want the worm!
  • "Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony. He stuck a feather in his hat", and...later realized he'd ruined a perfectly good hat.
  • If you accidentally flush your friend down the toilet, you either got a huge toilet or a teenie little friend.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Jack Sprat can eat fat.  You've just gotta hold Jack down and shove that fat down his throat!
  • Ice cream tastes "good"...armpits taste "bad".
  • If your first name is Brucifer, and your middle name is Yapstiddy, and your last name is Magoogoo, then congratulations!  Your full name is Brucifer Yapstiddy Magoogoo!
  • If you can't stand the heat--don't just start throwing rocks at people.
  • It's not nice to go up to someone, shove waffles up their nose and say, "Who's got a nose full of waffles?  You do!".
  • If you have a pizza delivered, it's nice to tip the pizza man a dollar.  It's not nice to say, "Hey, thanks for the pizza, now--could you help me put it in my pants?".
  • On Halloween, it's fun to go up to people's doors and say, "Trick-or-treat!"  On Groundhog's Day, it's fun to go up to people's doors and say, "It's Groundhog's Day!  Now let me look between your toes!".
  • If a neighbor asks you if he can borrow a cup of sugar, you'll sound weird if you say, "Oh, you can have the sugar--if you let me drink out of your toilet!".
  • It's better to give than to recieve.  Especially if you recieve garbage.
  • If you find your little brother wearing your bra, don't say, "Hey, little brother...what in the name of weirdness are ya doin' wearin' my bra, ya freak?!"
  • Homework...bad. Pizza...good.
  • There are 16 ounces in a pound. There are 36 sheep in my pants.
  • O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree...oh, why am I talking to a Christmas tree?
  • Cheaters never prosper...unless they buy my new book, Cheating the Denberg Way, available wherever fine books are sold!
  • If you speak Spanish and you don't want anyone to know, it's not smart to shout out, "¡El elefante es grande, señorita!" (The elephant is huge, missy!)

Appearances[]

Other appearances:
  • Nickelodeon Youtube - Henry Danger edition. (YouTube)

See also[]


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